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We drive a lot, most of us over 30,000 miles
a year. A while back someone sent us this list in an e-mail, and we got a
kick out of it. As they say, it's funny because it's true...
- There are 75 "official neighborhoods"
in the City of St. Louis. St. Louisans commonly give directions
(especially for restaurants) to strangers based on these neighborhoods
which aren't marked on any maps that are handed out by the tourist
board, the AAA or Mapquest.
- There are 54 school districts -- on
the Missouri side alone -- each of which has their own school bus system
and scheduled times to block traffic.
- There are 91 official municipalities
in St. Louis County. Each Municipality has its own rules, regulations,
and often their own police departments.
- More importantly, most have their own
snow removal contracts so it's not uncommon to drive down a road in
winter and have one block plowed, the next salted, the next piled with
snow and the last partially cleared by residents wanting to get out of
their driveways.
- Snow plowing is never a problem in the
City of St. Louis. They plow nothing, and if the forecast calls for
snow, they close everything. Except on "The Hill" (refer to #1 above)
where each homeowner goes out to the street and shovels out one
car-sized rectangle and then stands watch over it.
- Any car parked longer than 4 hours in
the city is considered a parts store.
- The City of Ballwin actually proposed
that drivers use connecting strip mall parking lots to get from place to
place rather than drive on Manchester Road to cut the traffic on
Manchester.
- Laclede Station Road mysteriously
changes names as you cross intersections. As do McCausland, Lindbergh,
Watson, Reavis Barracks, Fee Fee, McKnight, Airport Road, Midland, Olive
and Clarkson. Gravois Road can only be pronounced by a native. Ditto for
Spoede and Chouteau.
- A St. Louisan from South County has
never been to North County and visa versa. West County has everything
delivered.
- No native St. Louisan knows that
Lindbergh runs from South County to North County! And, if you tell them,
they will not believe you.
Lindbergh belongs to every neighborhood except Kirkwood, who had the
nerve to creatively change the name to "Kirkwood Road".
- There are 2 interchanges to exit from
Highway 40 onto Clayton Road and 2 for Big Bend. Stay alert, people!
- If you need directions to O'Fallon,
make sure to specify Illinois or Missouri. This is also true for Troy,
Maryville, St. Charles, Springfield, Columbia....
- The Page Avenue extension and Airport
expansion projects took over 20 years to get approved and St. Louisans
lost track of how many political figures claimed them as their own
ideas.
- St. Louisans were aghast when the
federal government required them to redo the highway signs to indicate
that the federal highways went to cities in other states instead of
local municipalities.
- Drivers are starting to cut their OWN
plates rather than go through the Missouri Department of Motor Vehicles
to get new tags. You can also purchase tags from dealers behind QuiK
Shops in the city. They are cheaper, the clerks are nicer, and the
service is faster.
- Lambert Field and St. Louis
International Airport really are the same place. The East Terminal,
however, is a different place.
- Highway 270 is our daily version of
the NASCAR circuit. (Same goes for Highway 70.) You can go all four
directions on Highway 270: North and South in West County, East and West
in South County, and East and West in North County. Confused? So are the
St. Louis drivers.
- The outer belt is Highway 270 which
turns into Highway 255 in South County. The inner belt is Highway 170.
Highway 370 is an outer-outer belt. Highway 40 is the same as Interstate
64 (but only through the middle part of St. Louis).
- The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to
10:00 AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00 PM. Friday's rush
hour starts Thursday morning. Never ever try to cross a bridge in St.
Louis during rush hour unless you have a sack lunch and a port-a-potty
in the car.
- YIELD signs are for decoration only.
No native St. Louisan will ever grasp the concept.
- If someone actually has their turn
signal on, it is probably a factory defect, or has been on for the last
17 miles.
- Construction on Highways 40, 64, 70,
255, 270, 44, 55 and 170 is a way of life, and a permanent form of
entertainment.
- All old ladies with blue hair in
Cadillac's (driving on Olive west of 270) have the right of way.
- If it snows or rains just stay home...
- Many people in St. Louis don't know
that you don't need a passport to get to Illinois or St. Charles.
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Fast
Facts
Driving
in St. Louis is an adventure to say the least.
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